December 32nd

Well happy f-ing New Year. It’s 2008 and I bet you can’t wait to get a jump on not following your list of resolutions. As I sit here with a frosty beer (Chouffe Houblon) and a day off from my weekly indentured servitude known as work, I’m reminded of the adventure that was 2007.

And by adventure I mean cluster fuck.

Then again, every year is (not in a bad way). Why? Because a new year isn’t a new start. It’s just another day.

Another hour.

Another second.

Another (insert measurement of time).

There are, however, some things to look forward to in 2008 other than taxes, getting older and presidential hopefuls (for me at least).

The venture to end all ventures is coming extremely soon. I’ve been quietly working on some projects that’ll rock your face off. While I explain what they are, feel free to pretend that your face is actually being rocked from sheer excitement.

Wevue TV (Launching Feb – March) – Layman’s terms? It’s an online TV station. Geek terms? It’s a site with a group of weekly produced video podcasts. It’s looking like the demographic is skewing towards 16-35 males, but I’m hoping anyone can enjoy what we have to offer.

The Mind of Dre (Launching Jan – Feb) – I finally have a use for my domain. A web comic! Hold your applause. I know it’s hard to do so amongst all this face rocking. Don’t expect anything politically correct. I take jabs at everything.

Calendar Theory (Debuting March) – I talked a lot of shit about this musical project of mine, and yes, it’s still coming. Soon. I hope. I have all the beats. Everything’s written. All I need to do is record. Give me 3 months.

There are some other projects (nothing huge), but if I ever needed support now would be an awesome time. Wevue will also have a launch party at some point so keep the date I haven’t set yet free.

OK… I need to enjoy my 1^st (daytime) beer of 2008. Think free, bitches.

Case File: I am Sofa King Wee Stad Ed

You ever play a video game, know you're about to lose and eventually restart the damned thing?

That's what I did with life. I pressed the big fucking restart button, which doesnt actually do anything in the sense of allowing me to travel back in time, but it gives me a new perspective.

New ideas.

New goals.

My dear readers (or lack thereof), stay tuned.

Case File: Dingos Ate My Baby New Year

Four more months... That's all I have to wait until this year of odd, random occurrences is over... Although the concept of the year has little to no actual bearing on life itself other than it being the length of time it takes for the Earth to circle the sun... The notion that a new year is equivalent to a fresh new start is all in our heads....

Like the Easter Bunny....

And Ben Affleck's acting abilities...

This year for me has been quite the clusterfuck... almost a life representation of a beautifully chaotic art piece... that you'd be damned if you understood it's underlying meaning

Like that "Dogs Playing Poker" portrait... one day I'll crack the meaning behind that one dammit.

************

I saw this episode of America's Most Wanted where 4 guys stole a sum total of 14 million bucks... 2 guys were caught... the other 2 fled the country with over 10 million unrecovered... Bastards

So nearing the end of a much needed beer night I asked Santiago a round of questions on what he would do for money....

Dre: Dude... 1 million is alot of money
Sant: Yeah... but still.....
Dre: Ok ok... $5 million to let Nelson give you a hand job...
Sant: For how long?
Dre: Until you finish
Sant: Ugh.......
Dre: And in front of your parents
Sant: Fuck that... no
Dre: Really?... I'm pretty sure he's got soft hands
Sant: Haha... no
Dre: Yeah you're right... But what if I told you that you you wouldn't have to worry about money for the REST of your life if you did this
Sant: Eh... I dunno....
Dre: Bro, it's not gay or anything... he would just be helping you out with something you'd normally do on your own anyway

But alas, I couldn't fool Sant into saying yes... I'm pretty sure he knew once he did all it would result in would be a bevy of gay jokes... Maybe I'll think of a more creative scenario next year.

Case File: End Game

OK... this is gonna sound like a morrbid post, but bear with me.

We've all done it before. We think about death. It's once of life's few inevitabilities.

Death (presumably) sucks. But what sucks even harder is the thought of who may not potentially give a shit of your passing. Yeah, there'll be someone out there that you know who will absorb the news of your demise as a passing thought. Awesome, right?

Not really.

So I thought about this during a bout of insomnia. Too often I go out of my way for people - people who I'm not certain if they'd do the same for me. I go to all the birthday parties. I get the check. I'll be the ride home. Not because I'm some pussy-fied chump; it's because I value the people in my life. But then the death thoughts come in and I wonder who'll cry the longest.

Or laugh... depending on how you remember me. Hopefully the latter.

It's such a mindfuck of a topic, isn't it? No one wants to think about these things, but I think it's an intriguing topic, albeit somewhat morbid as I previously stated.

Anyway, there's no underlying message behind this, which is normally the case with my posts. No bigger picture. No sublimities. Just a question that I pose to you. Next week I'll tackle "Where's the Beef?"

I heart bad Eighties commercials.

Case File: The Revelation Won't Be Televised

I was walking to Port Authority from work when an older, pungent gentleman ran up to me and politely stated...

"AMERICA IS A HAVEN FOR CRIMINALS AND SINNERS! GOD IS COMING TO PURGE THIS WORLD OF IT'S WRONG-DOERS!!!"

... All while shoving a tattered Bible in my face.

Now, this had me shitting in my pants (which sucked obviously because my pants were freshly laundered). I had absolutely no clue that God was coming! I mean... this was so unexpected. I need to spruce up and put on some un-shat pants.

Suddenly, the sky parted and an elderly man enveloped in light descended to earth.

Dre: Holy shit! God really is White!
God: Calm down, stupid. I'm here to purge this world yada, yada, yada...
Dre: So wait... Is this the Rapture?
God: What else would it be?
Dre: Well I dunno... It just seems a bit... uneventful
God: You people always want a freaking show. OK fine.
Muslim God: WAIT A SEC! What the hell is going on here?!?!
God: Ignore him. He's just an old college buddy of mine. He won't accept that I run shit around here.
Muslim God: Who has the bigger following? Yeah that's what I thought.
God: Dude... don't you have some infidels to go slaughter?
Jewish God: At least he's not going around having illegitimate children!
God: Who asked you? Jesus was a blessing.
Jewish God: Hey kid... I would never father a son out of wedlock. And if you join me you get to wear this nifty hat and run Hollywood.
Dre: Whoa, whoa, whoa... you know I don't actually believe that... who knew Jewish God was an anti-Semite
Jehovah's Witness God: Hey, have you guys ever heard of me?
God/Muslim God/Jewish God: Great.......
Dre: I'm sorry we're not interested
Jehovah's Witness God: I'll only take a minute of your time. Why don't you look over this pamphlet.

At this point all the other God's discreetly edged away and ascended back to their respective heavens while Jehovah's Witness God yapped my ear off for the next 2 hours about how great he is. When I was finally able to get a word in edgewise I said...

Dre: Have you ever considered that you may be wrong?
Jehovah's Witness God: I'm God. I can't be wrong.
Dre: Yeah, but so are they. You can't all be right.
Jehovah's Witness God: Have you read the pamphlet?
Dre: I actually did. And there's really no significant difference between any of you. If I lead a good life I'll get salvation right?
Jehovah's Witness God: I guess...
Dre: So back off and stop whoring yourself out... I've got some shitty pants to clean
Tom Cruise: Hey... You guys should take this awesome test!
Dre/Jehovah's Witness God: Great..............

Case File: Relaunched

Well look at this. It looks like there's been some new stuff going on here. www.themindofdre.com has been relaunched, acting as an online portfolio of sorts.

Sounds cool?

Well, it is to me.

There's been a quote/unquote reset of many things lately (I guess if I'm writing this I could've just put the word "reset" in quotes.... hmmm... whatever)... I'm prepping to finish up my MCSE in the next few months. I've got these various projects going on. And I'm working as hard as humanly possible to claw my way out of he Sallie Mae ditch. Fun times.

Well... I'm lazy at the moment. A real entry will be posted soon. It seems like the web-junkie thing to do, but just to (hopefully) gain an audience, I'll be updating every other day... literally.

Happy surfing, bitches.

Case File: Organized Chaos - Random Thoughts Part I

What's up readers... All 2 of you... Look What time its is!

Its almost Jesus Who? Day!... Go Santa and Best Buy!

God bless capitalism

Anyway

My first crack at a novel is still coming along... I've fleshed out some characters and yes... there will be some loosely based on people I know or have met... Have fun figuring out who they are

What sucks is that I have 908257039 ideas right now for projects I want to work on... so I'm jotting them all down... from websites to novels to art designs and photography compilations... my mind is on overdrive...

Not all my ideas are good, however... some absolutely suck...

Note: Icy Hot + Masturbation = A grown man crying

But I digress... here are my random thoughts of the night since I can't seem to sleep at the moment (2:38 am)

- Push Pops used to be dope
- Life is simple... It's the people that complicate it
- Creativity is the closest thing to recapturing your youth
- Stomach viruses suck
- Spontaneity is the second closest thing to recapturing your youth
- I could die a happy man if I knew I was remembered for something special... even by a few
- My father is the man
- I hope to god this New Year's is better than the last (it's a hell of a story)
- Speaking of... I admire great storytellers... whether oral or written
- No matter how sophisticated you are, a good dick and fart joke can make anyone chuckle
- I will kill you if you watch Laguna Beach... No seriously... I will
- Dude... I still have that fake Paul Frank watch... weird
- Tattoo number two is coming sooner than you think
- Greeting cards are wack... why get some pre-written crap when you can write something on your own?
- Sometimes you only get one chance at grabbing for that one thing you've always wanted... Go get it
- Digg.com rocks
- IM me if you're interested in reading the first few chapters of my book... I need opinions =/ (soulknowledge1)... and no... I wasn't angry when I wrote it
- Family Guy is funny but overrated
- My partying days are coming to a close
- I had the weirdest dream about booking a trip to Greece... so I think that's where I want to go next
- I'm gonna try beef again for the first time in years... someone call PETA

I think I'm finally getting sleepy... cool

Take this blog entry and make use of it my children

And no... I didn't masturbate with Icy Hot... but there's a funny story behind that one too

But I digress

Till next time